Friday, May 18, 2012

The Exercise Voice

"I'm tired," I whine to myself while sitting in front of the computer.

"Get over it,"  demands the voice in my head.

"I'm really, really tired."  Whining has never really gotten me anywhere with the voice  or anyone else, but I keep trying.

"Get off your lazy butt and let's get to work.  It's time for our walk" 

"I don't want to walk anymore today.  My ankle and leg hurts, I don't think I should be walking on it."

"Tell that to someone who cares.  We are going to walk." The demanding voice continues in my head.  "Remember we need a routine in our lives and responsibility.

"Has anyone ever told you, you are not a nice voice?  I mean really, I am tired and my leg really does hurt.  I think my ankle is a little swollen." 

"This is so you!  We work out really good for a few weeks, never missing a walk and then wham, suddenly your ankle and leg hurt, your tired.  I am not letting you derail us this time."  The voice drones through my mind.

Hmm, the voice does have a point there.  I have put more road blocks in front of myself in this life then anyone else.  Damn, I hate it when the voice is right.  "You are the meanest, uncaring, unsympathetic voice I know."

"Let's get real here, I am the only voice you know,"  laughs the voice.  "Get your lard-o butt off the chair and let's walk.  Remember the goals,  to get in better shape and find a paying job."

"Geez," I whisper looking out the window and trying to ignore the voice.

"Stop looking out the window!  We have things we need to get done today and not much time to do them in since you slept late this morning,"  cries the voice ranting and flapping around all over the place.

"I really wouldn't call eight thirty late.  I'm worried," I murmur still looking out the window, "The neighbor next door left her car door open on the passenger side and if the other neighbor comes home, he want be able to part in his spot."

"Really girl!  Let the neighbor take care of themselves, while we take care of you.  You haven't worked on your WIP today and we need to do our walking,"  sighs the bossy, dictatorial voice.

"I had to check on my  face book and read the blogs I follow.  I haven't had time to think about my WIP," I murmur turning back to look at the blog I was trying to read.

"Girl, what am I going to do with you?  Haven't you learned when you don't listen to me things can go wrong?  The voice is softer sounding worried.  "What is really going on?  Come on talk to me and maybe we can work it out."

"I need a nap," I whimper laying my head down on the desk.  "I didn't sleep that great last night."

"A nap!  You have got to be kidding," cries the voice in my head.  "If you take a nap, you want be able to sleep tonight!  Time for our walk!"

"Ha, if someone would stop talking when I go to bed," I sneer with my head down on the desk.  "I would have gotten a better nights sleep last night.  But oh no!  You had to blab about this and about that.  Where is the button to turn you off?"

"I don't have a turn off button," laughs the voice.  "I only shut up when you do what you are suppose to do.  But do you listen all the time?  No, you go your merry way and things go to hell in a hand basket."

I turn and look out the window whispering, "Your right, when I don't listen things go wrong.  I forget you can't really live without money, lost in a world of make believe.  I need to work on finding a paying job and getting in shape."

"You tried to side track me," laughs the voice, "but it didn't work.  It's time for our walk and you know it is over a hundred degrees out there so stop daydreaming how nice it would be," grumbles the voice loudly to make sure I am listening.  "We will do our walking in the house today.  Then we can get to work on our WIP."

"You know I am beginning to think walk is a four letter word."  I grin as I picture me yelling "Mom, it said a four letter word that begins with W.  Oh darn wait a minute, there is a five letter bad word that begins with W.  Hmm, the younger generation may not think of it since they have shorten it to Ho."

"What in the world are you doing?  You have been at that computer for over an hour and now you are suppose to walk for fifteen to twenty minutes.  Remember you asked me to keep you on track?"

Sighing, I think what a slave driver the voice has become.   Standing up and grabbing my IPOD, I set it to count the steps and then plug in the ear plugs and start the music.  I begin walking and let the music drown out the voice and all other thoughts.  Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a vivid imagination.

See you around the block.

Oh yeah, please buy my books!

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