Friday, November 18, 2011

Dangerous Daughter!!!!

I was fretting about what to write this time on my blog.  I would decide on one thing and then change it to another idea.  What to write about?

Then my daughter calls me and tells me how horrible her day was.  I am not a good mother, I laughed through the whole telling.  Bad momma!

"Mom, I didn't realize following a routine could get you in trouble."

"What?"  Now I am thinking of her doing routine things at her work place.  "I thought routines were supposed to be followed."

"Well, you are wrong.  I take the same way to work every day.  I know how long it will take me to get from the on ramp on the freeway to the off ramp I need."

"That's good, your less likely to get lost."  I am totally lost in this conversation so far.  How did routine at work get us to the freeway?  "I always followed the same route to work and back."

"Today I got on the freeway and I landed behind a DPS vehicle.  I thought nothing of it and made sure I was doing the speed limit."

My daughter continued, "I begin to change lanes to work over to the lane I needed to be to be able to take the ramp I needed to take to work."

Once again I am totally lost.  All the ramps on and off the freeway in Arizona are generally on the right hand side of the freeway and then I remembered off ramps are place weirdly in other states.  "Okay", I say slowly, still not sure where we are headed.  I do know seeing a DPS vehicle makes me nervous.  I guess I have a guilty complex.

"Well, the DPS vehicle changes lanes at the same time I do.  So he stays in front of me and I am thinking I don't want to pass him.  I am already doing the speed limit, even though other cars are passing.  But I always keep a car length between me and the car in front of me."

"I would feel the same way," I know I definitely would not pass a DPS vehicle unless it was going under the speed limit or it was on the side of the road.  I know my daughter does keep a car length between her and the car in front of her.  I have ridden with her and find I am comfortable with her driving.  Unlike my sons, who have me pressing on a non existent brake on the side of my car and clasping my hands together till my knuckles are white.  I also bite my lip to keep from saying anything, because they are like their dad and if I complained their driving would become even scarier.

"Well, I move over into the lane I need to be able to get off on the ramp I need about three quarters of a mile away.  The DPS vehicle doesn't change lanes, but he stays right next to me.  The next thing I know another DPS vehicle comes up behind me and turns on his lights."

"Oh no," I whisper knowing how nervous this would make me and knowing my daughter has an emotional personality.  I can hear the tears in her voice, even though it has been a few hours since this has happened.

"The DPS vehicle that had been beside me pulls in front of my now stopped car.  He doesn't get out of the vehicle.  He is talking to someone on his radio.  Two more DPS vehicles arrive on the scene and pull behind the vehicle behind me."

"My God!  Did they think you were dangerous?  How many cops does it take to stop a lone young pretty woman in an old car?"  I'm sorry to say, I begin to chuckle here.  I am picturing it in my mind as a cartoon.
I know, I am a BAD MAMA!

"I roll down my window as the cop behind me leaves his vehicle and comes toward me.  The cop in front drives away.  They ask me for my driver licenses, insurance card and registration.  I hand over my license and insurance card.  But mom for the life of me, I can't remember what the registration looks like.  So I asked the cop to describe it."

Okay here, I totally lost it!!!   I'm sorry, but I can't help think daughter like mother.  I had that problem once before.  "I'm sorry sweetheart," I laugh, "but I can totally sympathize with you.  The registrations are kickers."

"There is a lady cop standing on the other side of the car and I hear her say, 'Maybe this isn't her car."  The cop who has my license and insurance cards says, 'No, it is her vehicle.'  He kindly explains what I should look for in my glove box and I began digging through it.  Mom, I was shaking so bad, I could hardly pick up anything."

I'm thinking he wants her to dig through her glove box.  Lord have mercy!  I know what is in her glove box, a lot of stuff.  Tampons, stomach medicine, kotex, Lactose pills, kleenix and a lot of paper.  I mean a girl needs to be prepared for anything.  Right?

"The cops exchange places and the male cop asks me to roll down the passenger side window.  It get stuck half way down.  I unlock the door so he can open it and he offers to find the registration for me.  I nod my head and barely get out my yes.  Mom, I am so scared and I don't know why they stopped me.  I asked why."

"Mom, they say I was following the other cop and I was tail gating.  The cop that had left had told them I was following him and that I was tailgating because he could only see the roof of my car."

"The cop was nervous because he thought you were following him?  Was he really good looking?" 

"Mommm, I don't even know what he looked like.  I never pay attention to people in their cars."

I'm sorry, I lost it again.  "Sweetheart do you look dangerous behind the wheel?  Do you make arm gestures and faces at other drivers?"  Then I was laughing so hard I couldn't ask any more questions.  I am thinking how a big, brawny policeman is afraid of a young little woman driving a very old Nissan Maxima.  I mean really !!!

"No, mom!  Anyway I told the cop I wasn't following the other cop.  I was heading to work and that I wasn't tailgating.  The cop that had been in front of me was driving one of those tall four wheel drive vehicles and of course he could only see my roof.  His car was so much taller than mine."

"Okay, yes I lost it again.  I am thinking, how many policeman does it take to pull my daughter over?  In my mind seeing this big wheel vehicle as the DPS and how it could run over my daughter's car without any effort.  Oh I am so bad!!!  I explain to my daughter what I am laughing at and she begins to chuckle also.

"Anyway they wrote me a ticket for three hundred dollars and if I want to fight it, I have a court date on Feb 6th, 2012.  What happen to speedy representation?"

"Sorry honey, that no longer exists.  To many bad woman like you are being given tickets."  I lost it again!!  Damn I need to control my imagination when talking to people.  It has gotten me into a lot of trouble let me tell you.

"So I am trying to get my passenger window to roll up and I am crying like a baby.  A very unhappy baby!  The male cop asks me if I would like some help and I could barely get out yes.  He helps me to get my passenger window back up."

"Oh, darling I am so sorry you had to go through that.  But I can't believe any of the reason they cited for the ticket.  Have they ever driven during rush hour on the freeways around Phoenix?  Lord, they would be writing tickets for every person on the freeway."

"I was a basket case by the time I got to work and I was thirty minutes late.  It took forever to calm down enough to do my job.  Next time I see a DPS vehicle on the freeway, I am getting off of it as quick as I can."

"Sweetheart, that could be dangerous.  You could become totally lost."  My daughter and I both have the problem of becoming lost.  That is why my sons had gray hair early, is from a trip my daughter and I took to Disneyland and San Diego by ourselves.  That's another story for later.

"I would rather be lost, then pulled over by the cops."

We talked a little longer and soon she was laughing over her adventure as she got into the funny side of it with the help of my imagination.  I am always there for my children, it is just I do see the funny side of things.

 Generally I keep an internal conversation going, making snarky remarks or what ever and not saying what I think out loud, but with my daughter I can let her know what I am thinking.   Of course, the people who are not privy to my internal conversation sees someone with a dumb look on their face with twitches as I try not to giggle, smile or whatever at the wrong time.

Well, another adventure down and I am sure there are more to come.  LOL!  Who knew being a sieve brain could be so much fun?

See you around the block.

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